From: Jim
Date: Wed, Jul 21, 2010
To: Adam
Subject: HUGE Japanese Maple (about 10 foot wide) – $50

Since, when dug up, it may well die I’m not willing to pay anything. However, if you have no takers and simply want it gone I’d be willing to do the work and remove it on Saturday.

From: Adam
Date: Wed, Jul 21, 2010
To: Jim
Subject: Re: HUGE Japanese Maple (about 10 foot wide) – $50

It’s so nice of you to offer to take something for free that we are *selling* for a not quite insignificant amount of cash money. Give yourself a pat on the back! While your waiting to to see if we have any “takers” might I suggest that you browse the freeloader section of Craigslist.

thankyouverymuch,

Adam

From: Jim
Date: Wed, Jul 21, 2010
To: Adam
Subject: Re: HUGE Japanese Maple (about 10 foot wide) – $50

Not a problem … actually ‘Buy’ a lot of things from craigslist and also sell and give away a lot … truly thought I might be doing you a favor.

Sorry you took offense … it was not meant that way.

I hope you have a blessed day anyway.

From: Adam
Date: Wed, Jul 21, 2010
To: Jim
Subject: Re: HUGE Japanese Maple (about 10 foot wide) – $50

No, offense taken.

But…

If I wanted to give my plant away for free I’d probably of posted it in the free section. In your first reply you tell me point-blank “I’m not willing to pay anything…” It strikes me as a bit audacious because clearly my intention is to sell my plant, not give it away.

Would you walk into a super market and tell the checker “I’m not willing to pay anything for this loaf of bread… but I will save you the trouble of having it in your store by taking it home with me.”?

Maybe it was your choice of words that rubbed me wrong: “I’m not willing to pay anything…” gives me the impression that you feel entitled to get my plant for free. There are a number of people I would gladly give my plant to for free. Since I don’t know you, I think it’s safe to assume that you are not one of those people.

In any case, I am *practically* giving my plant away for free. Considering the asking price for one of comparable size on Craigslist is $3000 (and the buyer has to dig it out). Do you have any idea how many Jelly Belly Beans I could buy with $3000? Nether did I, so I looked it up on Amazon. I could get 440lbs of Jelly Belly Beans with $3000, I’d even get free shipping. Could you imagine 440lbs of Jelly Belly Beans? Gosh, if only life were that good.

There is one thing that does offend me though. In your last reply you used the font Comic Sans. Comic Sans offends me. Your writing an e-mail, not a comic. I don’t think your 5 either. Maybe it’s time to pick a font that’s more appropriate for the medium and your age.

Peace,

Adam

From: Jim
Date: Wed, Jul 21, 2010
To: Adam
Subject: Re: HUGE Japanese Maple (about 10 foot wide) – $50

You are entitled to your opinion … and I do pray the rest of your day is blessed and you are not bothered again by people like me

Image Credit: YXG via Flicker

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans, 49 Assorted Flavors, 10-Pound Box (Amazon.com)

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans 3 pounds Canister (Amazon.com)

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans, 49 Flavors, 2-Pound Stand-Up Pouch (Amazon.com)

I have been labeled an introvert all my life and for the longest time I hated it. The label itself isn’t bad; it’s simply describing a personality type. The problem is that the label ‘introvert’ comes with all kinds of negative connotations.

It can be confusing because under the right circumstances, I can be the exact opposite of an introvert. Few people have seen the extrovert side of me and those that have are surprised by it. It’s difficult when you’re labeled an introvert and you’re in a situation where you feel like you might want to be a little extroverted because nobody likes it when someone acts outside of their labeling. I’ve been labeled an introvert so I better damn well act like an introvert.

So here I am, expected to act within my label but also being told all the bad things my label means. It’s really frakked up when your labeled, told you label is bad, but when you try remove it you kicked in the balls for trying.

It wasn’t until a few years ago that I started to allow myself to be proud of being labeled an introvert; to be proud of who I am. There was a realization that I was bowing to the negative connotations of the label introvert; uselessly expelling energy to try to fix something that wasn’t broken. There was also a realization that it’s ok to act outside of my labeling if I was in a situation where I was comfortable with that.

Good or bad we label people, it’s how we define them and define our expectations of them. But you have to be careful with labels because they can cause us to define people too narrowly, to define ourselves too narrowly. Labels can poison our perception of people and ourselves.

The interval between shots on this video was 3 seconds (every 3 seconds a picture was taken) and the pictures are played back at 24 frames per seconds (standard film rate) but the video was slowed down just a smidgen to get it to end where I wanted it to with the song.

In the past few weeks I have had Google Reader filled with various people listing the top 10 best of this or worst of that for 2009. The last time I did an end of the year post was to welcome in 2008, and I didn’t say anything in it except “Happy New Year.”

So here I am quickly running out of time but feeling obligated to post something whimsically relevant about the past year, or if I’m feeling particularly psychic about the New Year, but unable to come up with any of my own top 10 best/worst lists.

A lot of really cool things happened in 2009 and a lot of really bad things happened in 2009. Anecdotally though I’d say that overall, it wasn’t too darn bad. Humanity survived not just another year but a whole decade!

For me personally one event makes 2009 the best damn year since 1982:

On April 1st, 2009 I married Sandi and her three boys Jay, Zane and Gavin.

Yep, best damn year ever.

Happy new year, see you in 2010.

You can buy the “White Wine In The Sun” single on iTunes (itunes link)

I came across this story via Whatever. Gist of it is – 90 year old WW2, Korean and Vietnam war veteran Col. Van T. Barfoot, who also happens to be a Medal of Honor winner is being sued by his Home Owners Association for putting a flag pole up in his yard.

Why did Col. Van T. Barfoot win his Medal of Honor? From the Citation:

For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of life above and beyond the call of duty on 23 May 1944, near Carano, Italy. With his platoon heavily engaged during an assault against forces well entrenched on commanding ground, 2d Lt. Barfoot (then Tech. Sgt.) moved off alone upon the enemy left flank. He crawled to the proximity of 1 machinegun nest and made a direct hit on it with a hand grenade, killing 2 and wounding 3 Germans. He continued along the German defense line to another machinegun emplacement, and with his tommygun killed 2 and captured 3 soldiers. Members of another enemy machinegun crew then abandoned their position and gave themselves up to Sgt. Barfoot.

Leaving the prisoners for his support squad to pick up, he proceeded to mop up positions in the immediate area, capturing more prisoners and bringing his total count to 17. Later that day, after he had reorganized his men and consolidated the newly captured ground, the enemy launched a fierce armored counterattack directly at his platoon positions. Securing a bazooka, Sgt. Barfoot took up an exposed position directly in front of 3 advancing Mark VI tanks. From a distance of 75 yards his first shot destroyed the track of the leading tank, effectively disabling it, while the other 2 changed direction toward the flank. As the crew of the disabled tank dismounted, Sgt. Barfoot killed 3 of them with his tommygun. He continued onward into enemy terrain and destroyed a recently abandoned German fieldpiece with a demolition charge placed in the breech.

While returning to his platoon position, Sgt. Barfoot, though greatly fatigued by his Herculean efforts, assisted 2 of his seriously wounded men 1,700 yards to a position of safety. Sgt. Barfoot’s extraordinary heroism, demonstration of magnificent valor, and aggressive determination in the face of pointblank fire are a perpetual inspiration to his fellow soldiers.

Holy frakking cow! Sussex Square Homeowners Association should be putting the flag pole up for him.

The Sussex Square Homeowners Association should be ashamed of themselves, the Coates & Davenport law firm (representing the association) should be ashamed of themselves.

John Scalzi said it well:

Dear homeowners association: When a Medal of Honor recipient wants to have a flagpole in his front yard, you say “Yes, sir. By all means. Thank you, sir.” Because you know what? Dude’s earned that damn flagpole…

Me- Oh, my god! Oh my god!

Sandi (distressed) – What!?

Me – It’s Eleanor!

Sandi – What!?

Me – It’s the Mustang from the movie Gone in 60 Seconds!

By this point we were a quarter mile past the lot and we’d already been in the road for three plus hours (all of which Sandi drove) but despite that, Sandi (who is the awesomest wife) – looked over at me:

Sandi – Do you want to go back so you can look at it?

Me – YES!

The lot (unfortunately) was closed so I could only look at it through the glass [click to embiggen]:

Eleanor from Gone in 60 Seconds was a one-off made by Cinema Vehicle Services for the movie. Later, Classic Recreations started to produce the car using ordinary 67 Mustangs and if they’re still available they go for around $100,000.

I’m not sure if this is a genuine Eleanor but it looks like it is. Wow, sitting in some car lot in the middle of nowhere.

Fixed!

Look closely into the magic pyramid and you will find fun, freedom, and riches beyond your dreams.

Dear Jeff,

If your reading this then you have received the CD I sent back to you with a link to this post. I’d first like to start this letter with a couple of quotes from Wikipedia:

A pyramid scheme is a non-sustainable business model that involves the exchange of money primarily for enrolling other people into the scheme, often without any product or service being delivered.

Pyramid schemes are illegal in many countries, including the United States…

As I’m sure you recall we meet briefly at The Home Depot in the surge protector/extension cord aisle about a week ago. I was looking for a couple of surge protectors with right angle plugs (they fit better behind desks) when you walked up and started confusingly looking at Home Depot’s surge protector offerings. After sifting through various surge protectors I found what I was looking for, grabbed a couple, and started to walk away. Before I got too far you stopped me by asking me something to the effect of “what surge protector is best?”

Your question through me for a loop, it’s not that it was a dumb question, or that I was not willing to help you out but I’m just the sort of guy who goes into a store, gets what he needs, and gets out while attempting as little human interaction as possible. I’m just not used to interacting with people in stores unless I start the interaction… it’s an introvert thing I guess. However, I try hard to be a nice guy and even though it went against my standard operating procedure, I decided I’d help you. Plus, you asked a tech. related question… I tend to like answering those types of questions.

In any case I asked you what you were planning on plugging into it, gave you a brief idea of what to look for, and recommended one of the brands available. You asked me if I was in the tech filed and I said “Actually, I’m the IT guy at [name of company] down the street.” You said something about that being cool, thanked me for my help, and I walked off feeling pretty good that I was able to help you out. I was still weirded out by the abnormal interaction though.

Apparently you were listening when I told you where I worked because about an hour later you called me there. I’m guessing that you looked the name of the company up, called the main number, and asked for me. I admire you for remembering my name because I’m terrible with names and frankly I would not have remembered your’s 5 seconds after you told me; even if my life depended on it.

Anyway, what was at this point a slightly abnormal occurrence for me – talking to a stranger in a store – now moved to the category of this is too frakking weird, my head is going to EXPLODE!. Honestly, my first reaction was “what the frak is this guy calling me for?!” You eased my nerves a little by telling me that you realized this was all coming “out of left field.” It helped knowing that you realized how frakking crazy it was that you tracked me down and called me… of course you realizing how crazy it was, and still doing it, could actually make you more insane than not.

Oh, by the way, I hate sports metaphors.

You told me that you appreciated my help at Home Depot and that you thought that it took integrity to help a stranger and all that. Then you really came out of left field and asked me if I would be interested in doing some part time work for your “internet company.” Wow. I doubted that it was possible that I made such an impression in our brief exchange that you would track me down and offer me a legitimate job of some kind but I didn’t want to squander a possible opportunity so I said “sure.”

You didn’t say much about your “internet company” what you did say was that you wanted to meet some time to discuss your “opportunity,” so we set a date and time to meet at a Starbucks down the street from where I work. This was not too odd, I had interviewed for jobs (and got them) at Starbucks before. You then told me that you had some information about your company that you wanted to send me and asked what address you should send it to. When I asked if e-mail would work you told me that you were going to be mailing an audio CD so standard mail was easier. I found this odd because for someone who has an “internet company” I’d think that you’d realize that the internet is a pretty damn good way to distribute audio. Anyway, I gave you the befit of the doubt, maybe you were just the money man and you had people to handle all the technical stuff for you. In any case I gave you my work address and by the end of our conversation I was pretty sure that what you were offering would not turn out to be anything; but I was curious to see what, exactly, it turned out to be.

A few days later I received the CD you sent me titled “Fun and Freedom.” I listened to it. Some guy who went by the name Wade Simmons talked for a few minutes about a system he had that would gain the follower, wait for it… Fun and Freedom! Egads!

Not that I needed to (I already knew what this was) but I did a bit of research – I could not find any information on Wade Simmons, other than some mountain biker out of Canada, who I was pretty sure had nothing to do with any of this. Printed on the CD label was “Copyright TEAM INA.” Googling TEAM INA only turned up this Yahoo Answers post where the answerer said they’d been to a TEAM INA meeting and determined that it was a pyramid scheme. Further digging turned up this^(pdf) California Class Action Suit against Quixtar (later dropped). Quixtar is in fact Amway Global, a company known to run, wait for it… pyramid schemes! If you look on page 13 of the suit where it lists Quixtar’s “lines of sponsorship” on line f. you’ll see listed InterNet Associates (INA).

Here’s the thing Jeff – I helped you that day in Home Depot, it may have not been for anything particularly significant but I did help you. I’m not saying I deserve a medal or anything but I could have easily given you a B.S. response, or ignored you; either of which would have actually been easier for me. Instead, I not only answered your question I took the time to pass valuable knowledge to you and you responded to my kindness by trying to scam me.

Ok, I’m not so native as to actually think that you were really looking for a surge protector and genuinely needed help picking one out. I’d imagine your “working” day is spent loitering around stores looking for marks, people you try run your little scam on. Make no mistake Jeff, pyramid schemes are scams and people that perpetuate their existence are, in my opinion, criminals.

I hate, hate, hate, pyramid schemes, multi-level marketing, whatever you call it a rose is a rose and a scam is a scam.

Jeff, you’re despicable, and if it existed you would burn in a very special level of Hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater¹.

Oh, and I left your CD in my car for a couple of days and it got pretty hot in there… so if you CD is a little warped I apologize…

Or maybe it was the heat gun...

¹ “Firefly” Our Mrs. Reynolds (2002)^↵